


A Pony and a Plastic Rocket

by tobinlaughing



Category: Firefly, Whedonverse - Fandom
Genre: Birthday, Gen, I'll Be in My Bunk, The best laid plans..., caper, surprise, things go smooth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-03
Updated: 2013-04-03
Packaged: 2017-12-07 09:58:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobinlaughing/pseuds/tobinlaughing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inara's birthday is coming up, and Mal and Kaylee have come up with the perfect plan to get something nice for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Pony and a Plastic Rocket

"Find somethin' to hang on to, Doc!" Jayne hollers, a split second before punching the big red button that opens _Serenity_ 's low cargo hatch. Simon, while already strapped into the sturdy, makeshift harness that lashes him to the ship, nevertheless scrambles for a handhold as the air around him makes a hasty exit through the ship's floor. His blowing black hair stings his cheeks and eyes. The noise is incredible and deafening. Jayne is staring at him from across the sudden gap in the floor, secured to his own harness, complete with safety goggles and earplugs. Simon doesn't need to be able to hear to know that the big merc is laughing at him. A lot. 

Zoe's voice is small and tinny in the comms, for all that she's strapped in about five feet away. "Wash! Speed is good but we need to be another 10 feet down to get the straps on!" The ship dips obligingly, swerving alarmingly close to the top of a racing train car that Simon swears he could reach out and touch.

Wash comes over the comms: "That's as close as I can do, sweetheart. Any more and the thrusters'll start melting the train windows."

"It's good! Just keep her steady!" Zoe yells, then looks to her left and right at Jayne and Simon. "On my mark!" She shouts and holds up three fingers on one gloved hand, then collapses her fingers in an exaggerated counting gesture: _1--2--3!!_ "Mark!" She yells, and she and Jayne leap in unison, nylon strapping spooling out behind them, whipped around by the insane wind gusting between the speeding ship and the train. Simon is only a panicked heartbeat behind them, and his landing--while nowhere near as practiced or cool-looking as either of theirs--is solid, steady, and more importantly, keeps him from flying off the train car into the path of one of the burning thrusters. 

So far, so good.

"Cargo car is right below you," Wash's voice is, incredibly, easier to hear now that they're out of the path of the sucking wind from the cargo hatch. "Manifest has our first major purchase in the car behind you, and the second in the cargo car you're standing on."

"You're up, Doc!" Zoe still needs to shout, but she points to the escape hatch open at her feet. "Remember, five of the containers should do it, then you need to open the big hatch for us! OK?" Simon nods, not trusting himself to be able to shout loud enough. As he sits on the lip of the hatch, Zoe unclips his harness--and for a harrowing second, as he falls into the train, the doctor is in panic-inducing freefall. Then his feet hit the floor of the train car. He tries to move towards the connecting door as his eyes adjust to the sudden darkness, and he looks around. From the nondescript blackness start to emerge ten-foot-long crates, stuffed with straw to cradle the cargo therein. Each one is stamped "Porcelain--fragile!"

_"Really? That's what she said?" Zoe sounded dubious, but River's face was open, honest, and completely earnest. She nodded vigorously._

_" 'One misses the luxury,' " she quoted, pitching and smoothing her voice to mimic the Companion's cultured inflection exactly. The eeriness of her mimicry wasn't lost on the bridge crew, but they were mostly used to it by now. Mal rubbed the back of his neck thoughtfully._

_"Can't say as I blame her," he mused, "as we are all familiar with the joy that is our recycled-water system. Wouldn't come to harm to have some fresh water supply onboard, mid-mission, either." He thinks for a moment, then keys the intercom. "Kaylee, we need your help on the bridge, please."_

Five ten-gallon containers weigh, Simon estimates, approximately two tons too much, but water is a valued commodity and so if they happen to have some extra, it's not like it won't get used. He stacks them, side by side, atop the longer crate that Zoe and Jayne have selected. Jayne is arguing their choice.

"She just don' seem like the type," he grumbles. "I'd peg her for more of a red or a black, not .... _salmon_." 

"You're just complaining because we didn't take the one off the top and you had to shift some crates," Zoe retorts. 

"Off the top wouldna hurt, neither." 

Simon takes a visual measurement: the unit they've chosen has to be at least eight feet long, four feet wide. Inara will have to either completely clear her shuttle to use it, or a section of the cargo hold will have to be screened off for her privacy. He supposes the Captain could also just have them set down on an appropriately secluded planet so she can go outdoors, as well. He grins. 

"At least it's big enough, Jayne, and Inara might let you use it once she's done."

Jayne brightens at the idea. "Hey, not bad thinkin. Maybe she wouldn't mind sharin'? Water conservation and all--" but Zoe cuts him off with a barking laugh.

_"Kaylee, I don't know where I'm even going to find time to use half of these things," Inara complains, shifting a bag of scented candles off of her bed so she may sit and remove her shoes. "And where will I keep them, anyway? It'll get packed up as soon as we get to wherever the Captain wants me to get off, and more as like go into storage."_

_"Don't talk like that, 'Nara. You wanted these things, and bein's as it's your birthday, I decided to please myself and you should have 'em. I'm sure you'll find use for 'em eventually. Who knows, you might come across some really hideous client who's never had a bath in his life and needs you to help him learn the finer points of bathing." Kaylee's eyes sparkle, the way they always do when she's helped make someone happy._

_Inara giggles a little. "Nice as that sounds, I doubt Jayne's going to try to engage me any time soon," she quips, and they both laugh._

In the end, Mal orders them to uncrate the cargo in the hold, and for Zoe and River to find something suitable to use as a privacy screen--Inara and Kaylee are due back from their shopping expidition sooner rather than later, and it won't due for the surprise to be ruined with them unable to haul the massive piece of porcelain through the bowels of the ship. Book helps to clean the thing out and set up the tables for towels, bowls to be filled with scent and oil, and the submersible heating element to warm the wash water. Then they all take a moment to step back and admire their handiwork.

"Think she'll like it?" Wash worries, and Mal claps him on the shoulder. 

"Think she will. I really do. It's nice of all'a ya to help get Inara's last birthday present in order, everyone. Might be once she's done we can all take a turn in it, do us some good."

"Heck, we could all fit at once," River muses innocently, and Wash snickers as Jayne's eyes flick from Zoe, to River, and then glaze a bit as his mental movie reel clicks on. 

"I'll be in my bunk," Jayne growls, and stalks away.


End file.
